I'll make you believe me
by MurtaghSpamanoGirl
Summary: Lovino is on the roof, detirmined to end it all. Antonio is not so fond of that idea. One shot, happy ending, Spamano


How did I end up here? How did I end up, on the top of the school roof? Was I really this depressed? Had I really given up on life completely? The answer was yes. It's amazing how small the rift between having something to live for, to complete nothingless, is. Even after I realized just how depressed I was, I could never bring myself to hurt myself. Back then I had something, or someone, to live for. There's no one I loved more than my brother. He was so innocence, and he trully loved and looked up to me. He was my reason for living. I could never hurt him, and I told myself, that killing myself would hurt him. I never cared if I hurt myslef, as long as it didn't hurt him. I suppose that's what's called sacrifice. I never told him that I was depressed. It would only hurt him. I could picture it in my mind so easily. How his eyes would tear up, and he would shake his head violently in fear. He was so very innocent, and he should stay like that. I still loved him, and I would do so, till the moment I colided with the ground underneath me. He was my preasious baby brother. My preasious baby brother, who'd always relied on me with everything that happened. My preasious baby brother who'd always needed me. My preasious baby brother, who now didn't anymore. That's what pushed me off the edge. It made me hate myself even more, that such a small thing, like not being the most inportant thing in his life, could make me... this. How fucking posessive was I? It was sick! It was ridicilous! It was... pathetic really. Yes, pathetic. That's what I was. A pathetic little creep who couldn't keep his fucking act together. I should know better than this. I should understand that my brother would still love me and hurt by this, despite having a strong handsome boyfriend. I was such an idiot, I keeped telling myself in my mind, but it didn't matter how much I repeated it. It didn't matter. My heart didn't believe it, and so it wasn't true. Feliciano could get by without me. He had so many friends to support him if now he would come to be sad. I'd thought it over, and I could think of no one who wouldn't be able to get by without me. In a way, I would do them all a favour. They would no longer have to handle me. I was a problem child. I'd always been. Always screaming, and being an outsider. Nothing but trouble, to my grandfather, to my classmates, to my surounding, to the princible... to my mentor, Antonio. How easy his life would be, once I was gone. How many times, had he not called me in to talk to me about how I was doing? How many times, had I not yelled to his face, and lied? It was a countless of times. Poor bastard had to put up with me for all this time. He would be happy to get rid of me at last. I knew the causes of him calling me in every now and then. It was his job. A lousy job he should have quit long ago. He didn't care. He was just doing his job. That's what made me want to cry even more. I was in love with him. Something I cursed God for whenever I could. Falling inlove with your teacher was hitting the rough bottom. He was young, I admit to that, probably just a few years older than me, but it was still wrong, still sick. The school would talk for weeks if it came out. Not even Feli knew. Not that I didn't want to tell him, it's just... something always got in the way. Lately, it'd been Ludwig. Before that, it was something else, he needed to tell me, and I never had the heart to turn him down. I loved him too much. And yet, I didn't even say goodbye.

Antonio's POV

I jerked my head up at the sound of my telephone vibrating. I looked around to locate myself, and found I was still sitting by my office-table. Wonderful, I'd fell asleep at work again, and now all the tests were spread across the table. The mobile kept going, until I managed to dug it out from the mess of papers.

"Antonio speaking."

"Mon ami, Tonie." Francis voice called from the other line, sounding uncharatisctly worried.

"Francis? What's wrong, mi amigo?"

"Are you in school?" he asked.

"Si, I fell asleep on my desk. Why."

"I'm not sure, but I think I may have seen someone on the roof."

"What!?" I was quickly on my feet, leaping out of my office. "Where?"

"Right above the entrance."

"Thank's. Goodbye."

I hung up and tucked the mobile in my pocket. I shot a quick glance at a watch on the wall. Half past six. He or she must have just come here. I didn't know who was up there, but I wasn't going to let one of my students die, if that was anyones intention. No, I had to stop it.

Lovino POV

"Stop!"

I turned hastly at the voice, breaking the silence around me. Antonio panted as he stared at me, wide eyed.

"Lovi! What are you doing?"

"Stop fucking calling me Lovi. Just leave!" I yelled at him. "This's got nothing to do wiht you!"

Antonio raised his hands in the air, as he took one step closer.

"Lovi, step away from the edge, please."

"Don't come fucking near me!"

I took a step back, finding myself dangerously close to the edge, causing Antonio to stop abruptly.

"Don't do this. There are better ways. I can help you."

"You can't just fucking fix me up like a vase. I'm a fucking human being. How the hell can you help me? You don't even care!"

Antonio didn't answer. He stared at me, as though I'd just stabbed him in the heart.

I shook my head slowly and turned my back at him.

"Don't try to stop me." I called back at Antonio. "It's better this way. For all of you. It'll save you all the trouble. You can all be happy without me."

I closed my eyes, and took the last step, out in the thin air, bracing myself for the hard impact of the ground.

"LOVI! NO!" Antonio cried, panicfilled voice.

Third person POV

The impact never came. His face never collieded with the hard ground. His spine never broke. When he opened his eyes, Livino saw bright red fabric securly pressed against his face. He felt strong arms embracing my trembeling shoulders. He smelled the soft sent of tomatoes. And he heard the choked voice of Antonio whisper.

"Don't. Don't do this to me. I can't live without you. I won't let you leave me. Ever."

Antonio was trembeling too, and soft drops of salty water wet Lovinos hair.

"Don't you understand how important you are? For Feli, for your friends, for me."

"It's not true. You're just doing your job." Lovino mumbled.

Antonio held him closer, sobbing heavily.

"No. No. No." he repeated over and over again. "Don't say that. I can't stand it. I'll make you happy again. I don't care what it takes. It's going to be ok. You're going to be happy. You're going to smile, and laugh and..."

Antonio was now crying incontrolably.

"I won't allow you to die. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. So very much, and I can't stand a world without you."

Antonio engraved one of his hands in Lovino's hair and pulled him, if possible, closer to his chest.

"Why can't you understand that?"

"I don't believe you." Lovino whispered against the soft fabric.

"Why."

"It doesn't make sense, for you to love me."

"Then I'll just have to make me believe me."

Antonio released Lovino from his grip, and for the first time, Lovino could see the tears that were streaming down his tanned face. Antonio carefully released his hand on Lovinos head and moved it to his face, tilting upwards so their eyes were meeting.

"Trust me." he whispered, and pulled Lovino closer so that their lips met in a soft kiss.

"I'll make you believe me, somehow."


End file.
